#7

Book
I always feel contented reading a great novel which I adore. There's this wonderful fictitious world where I could imagine myself being the main character in the storyline, implementing all the stuffs I've always been desiring to do. It somehow offset what I don't get in real life. (some sorta self-consolation, and yeah I've to admit that this is the absolute behavior of an ostrich) I can be easily fascinated and absorbed into the plots....especially those suspense, detective, whodunit and mysetry novels. (my favourite-est type, cause they're too intricate) It leads to (awesome) mixed feelings, scared (heart squeezed) while feeling extremely excited. (psycho af)

The novel I’ve recently read (to be accurate, reviewing it for the 3rd time) is ‘To all the boys I’ve loved bofore’, #1 book in the series. It is a girlish and syrupy romantic fiction. Yesh I do read love stories, (cause ya know, basically I’m just a normal girl) but definitely not the frothy, slushy, overly cloying (too fake lah cant even fancy it) ones. What I can say is, sheer sweetness pervades throughout the whole book!!!! Love both the characteristics of Kavinsky and Lara Jean, just too cute I kennot, specifically the moments when they’re jealous for each other omnomnom.

Despite the fact that it might seem to be commonplace among the numerous romantic novels, I still fall for it to date. (Truth: this type of books read by me was just thin on the ground. ) Perhaps it’s portrayed how one’s youthhood should be like. (though practically not every part of it aha) Nah, everyone has their hobbyhorse, and there’s no accounting for tastes, so don’t judge :) Just enjoy the book and be happy yay😉

#6

Musing
My mood can easily get influenced by words said by other humans and their actions, (I guess Im quite sensitive). I would really care from the bottom in my heart but I dont express it out. I might feel hurt or flustered or sorrowful, but I would look tranquil ostensibly. I can continue chatting without showing any kind of variation in my emotion. (actually it depends, cause in necessasry circumstances, I dare to stand up against an injustice or talk back in defiance or controvert cuz assholes are intolerable.) Anyhow its a mercy (in this case only haha) that I don't remember, I forget all the unhappy memories very easily. My psychology could just turn well within the time interval of a few seconds. (Wow?)

I've always been wondering why would we be emotionally affected by others' manner and attitude. Nah, this is just weird. After (just slight) brooding over it,(such perfunctoriness) I think that its because we're gregarious organisms who cant stand living alone thus we mind how people treat us. We really do take it to heart.

The world will be wonderful if we could treat and concern for each and everyone with genuine affection in spite of how they injure us. Endless reprisals will never occur. Isnt it how an angel would do? Nevertheless it turns out that we're all just mortal beings.

#5

Musing
Rumor has it that an actor just passed away. Later on it's been proven true. I wasn't his fan, and only get to know him from a variety show (watched it bcs of my idol), and a TV drama. 

Had only a little impression on him, he seemed to be that kind of guy who's very cheerful, optimism and humorous. He talked (about how he would treat his gf and it was damn funny) and joked a lot in the show, spreading happiness to others. I particularly liked how he grinned, as he looked like a bit of a lad, and surprisingly heartwarming. He died because he committed suicide in his house due to severe melancholia and he'd been very depressed in the past 3 years.

TBH it shocked me, I doubted whether the name was correct, as I had never expected him to do such stupid stuff...after all he is such a cute guy with sunny disposition who likes pink colour so much. When I was reading the news, I bursted into tears. Idk why I cried. (blah) Maybe feeling repentant for the lost of a human from the world. It means......never seeing again.

Under the bright and glamour apperance, there are always many agonies and miseries that have been hidden in one's life which others would never know. We shall never judge people without sufficient insight.  Since life is tough, we must be tougher while conquering it. (typical chicken soup for soul lmao)

Conclusion: Idk......I don't know what is appropriate to be said. 

Anyways we should bear in mind that committing suicide is definitely not a necessary action.....we've our own significance even if it seems like we don't. We're born for a reason.

Unrelated: The world is cruel, there's a forecast saying that those worthless humans who're unable to contribute to the community might be cursed to death/ killed in future on account of many situation like lack of food or doomsday. Kay Idk why I wrote this (maybe emo, yeah as u can see) might continue it afterwards.

#4

Goal
I felt friggin bad when I woke up today, as I slept a lot(NO LIES). I just couldn't understand why can't I just get up from the annoying bed on time when the alarm clock was ringing like hell and everyone in house cursed due to the noisiness. 

I swear I didnt listen anything, even a subtle "drrrriiiing". Even when I finally get to wake up vaguely, the luscious and thick drownsiness started to invade, and I snoozed. "sleeeeep lah.....just sleep for a couple more minutes, u are so tired!!!!!! it's still early now..." Then I glanced at my watch, it's 7am (only ma) hence I subconsciously listened to the inner voice of soul and huddled up again in my warm comfy bed, with my smelly pillow cuddled. The next time I opened my eyes was after 1 or 2 hours (TRAGEDY). Well I guess I own the gene of a pig. (The metaphor is distinct eh HAHA) 

So today I woke up at 10something, tbh its almost 11am(crap). Sunlight flooded into the room through the chinks of the curtain, okay, rise and shine!

My target is 4am in the morning, for 2 weeks continuously. AND ALSO, not taking any nap throughout the day😤 I wish that I could achieve this small target first.....Hell no, not small at all, it can be classified as ultimate goal already lor, for a night person like me. If I manage to do it, I will write another post to commenmorate my accomplishment!!!!! 

Damn before the plan even starts working I can already anticipate that it shall never come true. Whai am i such a failure FML *cries*