Recently I found out that my life has been too plain. (Fyi I'm a lifeless zoombie) Thus, I decided to walk out of my comfort zone, which requires a huge amount of courage. So after ruminating over, I think the most basic thing to start with (for me), is to greet and smile at strangers. It's (apparently?) much tougher when you come to bonding with somebody, since I'm not that kind of sociable human :P

But I will choose my targets. Basically & mostly they would be females, since old uncles seem to be inappropriate, as they MIGHT misunderstood that I'm dropping an hint (err, as my mum says...SOME of them will relate to something filthy) and young guys might think that I'm their secret admirer. But well normal guys wont be that narcissistic, in fact, it's just me myself who's being a lil bit shy. But no worries, it won't last long, I will improve myself! (Might have to wait until 天荒地老HAHA. the inertia is strong)

On the first day, I was quite nervous, but after the first greet+smile was done, it wasn't as hard as I expected. It was, at bottom, several simple actions. I started with people in the school, especially the school workers, cleaners and guard. So let me analyze why not da teachers and friends. Teachers are the ones who I'll bow and greet at ever since I was in primary school, this has already become an habit, (or inertance?) I do it with no perception. I guess most of us has forgotten it's original intention, which is appreciation. As for friends who I'm not close with, this abrupt action had caused the atmosphere to become freezingly (teeth chaaaatteeeering) awkward, as it's been a long time that we never say hello. Most of the time we just passed by like absolute strangers. Nvm! I will work on improving.

After trying for a few times, I'm able to do it with ease. The reward I gained is out of expectation too. Majority of the people who I nodded and smiled at, will smile back. (and aye I'd expected them to ignore) At the first time, I felt surprised and touched. The moment is really, really heartwarming. I feel like the world is so wonderful, as relationship between humans could be so pure. Though we're just passer-by in each other's lives, it doesn't matter. I feel delighted after that, and I believe they're, too. Sometimes the scene will even playback in my mind, revolving. These are just brief interludes in my daily process, but they brighten up my day.

I think that this is an act of spreading warmth. Then, I decided to upgrate it. After saying hello, I tried to have some occasional chat with them cordially, but it's to depend on the situation. I've done my "spread warmth plan" in hospital, when I was with my parent visiting my grandma. I said something encouraging to the patients, mostly the aged ones, some didn't respond, but some do. I smiled randomly at strangers who're not walking hastily.

Despite the fact that some of them didn't respond or were being cold, I wasn't really bothered. Humans are different, not everyone needs warmth from strangers, but some desires it to rekindle their hope in life. I'm just doing my job as a human in the society(wah so responsible leh *wink* AHAHA) This should happen interpersonally.

Just do it, a simple action might infleunce a lot inwardly. Unity is strength, together we could create incredible and amazing changes.

So I unexpectedly thought of my just-moved-away neighbour. (Due to the absorbing aka poisonous plotline of the romantic novel that abruptly popped outta my mind.) We were close kindergarten buddies. Uh, not really, but IDK, cause I've unwittingly forgotten majority of the memories when I was small. We were so adorable back then, but what makes me sighed was that nothing noteworthy had happened. (Like being secretly in love or having a crush or just anything like....saying hello.) We'd been living together so close(I can walk 10 steps or so to ring his doorbell) for...about 15 years I guess. Too long, isn't it? Our knowingeachotherbutnofutherinteraction friendship was super hardcore.

So embarrassingly I imagined how would it be like if he likes me. (Kay, right after he moved house. I swear I'd never had this thought when he's still living opposite of me.) Though it would be so exciting *blush* if it really happens,(since he's quite handsome) this is perpetually impossible. You ask why? (Not certain if you're interested but I will just write cause Im the writer!) Firstly...in view of I'm not that kind of pretty and lovely girl next door. Face matters if you wanna melt a boy's heart at first sight. So....my face says it all. *sobsob* Secondly, we're from different background. He's a portuguese half-caste (probably indian too but I cant rmb).. with all his family speaking english so we hardly get in touch with them. (except my daddy who's attracted to his mummy's beauty and accosted her like very frequently, but dont think too much they're just pure friends 'cause his Eng is pretty basic..saying sentences like today weather very good eh?) Morover, we studied in different primary and secondary schools after that, hence it makes sense that we didn't communicate at all? (Obviously lame excuses, I can ask him homework! but I wasn't outgoing enough so..)

In a nutshell, it occurs only in fictions. If it accidentally happens in real life, it's only for those beautiful girls.
*PS: The guy didn't even bother to accept my fb friend request.
*PPS: He has a girlfriend! (Why would I know? Cause I'm a professional stalker with nothing Idk.) But so what? He's not my type, haha. (This is just lucky, otherwise I might be morbidly emotional and filled with nostalgia for my old kindergarten days......) 

I always feel contented reading a great novel which I adore. There's this wonderful fictitious world where I could imagine myself being the main character in the storyline, implementing all the stuffs I've always been desiring to do. It somehow offset what I don't get in real life. (some sorta self-consolation, and yeah I've to admit that this is the absolute behavior of an ostrich) I can be easily fascinated and absorbed into the plots....especially those suspense, detective, whodunit and mysetry novels. (my favourite-est type, cause they're too intricate) It leads to (awesome) mixed feelings, scared (heart squeezed) while feeling extremely excited. (psycho af)

The novel I’ve recently read (to be accurate, reviewing it for the ^3rd time) is ‘To all the boys I’ve loved bofore’, #1 book in the series. It is a girlish and syrupy romantic fiction. Yesh I do read love stories, (cause ya know, basically I’m just a normal girl) but definitely not the frothy, slushy, overly cloying (too fake lah cant even fancy it) ones. What I can say is, sheer sweetness pervades throughout the whole book!!!! Love both the characteristics of Kavinsky and Lara Jean, just too cute I kennot, specifically the moments when they’re jealous for each other omnomnom.

My mood can easily get influenced by words said by other humans and their actions, (I guess Im quite sensitive). I would really care from the bottom in my heart but I dont express it out. I might feel hurt or flustered or sorrowful, but I would look tranquil ostensibly. I can continue chatting without showing any kind of variation in my emotion. (actually it depends, cause in necessasry circumstances, I dare to stand up against an injustice or talk back in defiance or controvert cuz assholes are intolerable.) Anyhow its a mercy (in this case only haha) that I don't remember, I forget all the unhappy memories very easily. My psychology could just turn well within the time interval of a few seconds. (Wow?)

I've always been wondering why would we be emotionally affected by others' manner and attitude. Nah, this is just weird. After (just slight) brooding over it,(such perfunctoriness) I think that its because we're gregarious organisms who cant stand living alone thus we mind how people treat us. We really do take it to heart.

The world will be wonderful if we could treat and concern for each and everyone with genuine affection in spite of how they injure us. Endless reprisals will never occur. Isnt it how an angel would do? Nevertheless it turns out that we're all just mortal beings.

So I'm sitting with an irritating fellow during Physics period in the lab, and he's been getting on my nerves. Though we didn't even talk a word, I still dislike him pretty much and I can't figure out why. 天地良心 I'm a super nice human, I hardly get to hate someone, look at my sincere smile! :D But after writing this post, I can't do self-admiration and be ecstatic over myself for being naiseee anymore TT 'cause I wrote this sinful and vicious thingie to speak ill of my classmate behind his back whilst I've so many flaws too TT 

BUT THE INFLAMED HATRED WAS ACCUMULATED I NEED TO EXPRESS DEM OUT OTHERWISE THEY MIGHT HURT MY BODY. (nothing can stop me from being healthy)

It's extremely implausible to everyone that he managed to get a girlfriend. Oh crap, I believe anyone who has eyes can interpret that he's not far from being a scrumbag. If I were his gf (err why do I need to take this as example ) I suppose I will ask him to shut up every second he tends to spit a word and stomp away(sorry I'm still a kid) to express my wrath and bushuang-ness. (Omg these acts sound so kindhearted. Too preliminary. Ok I know why, cuz I'm a good kid I've never hated ppl before TT)

Okay so let's start. *take a deep breath* Basically he is so freaking noisy and talkative that you can't retain a moment of serenity when he's in your area. What he does all day is jabber away by going blah blah blah (much too fond of the sound of his own voice). He also loves to show off to the utmost in order to prove to the teachers how clever (err with switch quotes) he is.

Firstly, his homeworks are like shyt, all the papers given to him are crumpled and he doesn't really have a proper book. When teacher asks for his exercise book, he'll pretend to dig for it in his bag(nothing's inside, trust me), then make the remorseful derp face and say, kk sorry cher I swear I'll pass up on tomorrow. (credibility is zero) And yet, as expected, endless tomorrows. Walao really cannot tahan. Such unproductiveness! his future wife will definitely die starving one day. ( Girl outta millions of guys on earth why'd you choose him? So pity of you being blind :'( ) Perhaps that's the reason you're predestined to die starving? (nah let's see in future)

Secondly, everytime teacher asks a question he'll want to be the very first one to answer to show that he's intensely engaged. It's a series of exaggerating actions, including taking the initiative to raise his hand high up plus shouting 'teacher I know!'. Whenever he replies wrongly he'll be like ugh omg how could I ever get the wrong answer! How appalling that I got it wrong! with his exceedingly shocked face, then lie on the table lifelessly. Me (already got used to it): Good attempt eh bruh.

Thirdly, he's like trying to catch everyone's attention by never-ending asking questions, those unrelated ones. When teacher's teaching halfway, he'd suddenly ask her which topics would she set for the upcoming exam and kept on moaning 'haiyah why lah cher' 'omg TEACHER NOOOO' and especially when teacher's giving homework, 'stooooop teacher, it's enough, uuugghh, why do you have to' and me sitting beside him, tries to roll eyes until my eyeballs are all white. Excuse me, can you pls shut up you don't even do your hw wtf.

And the most important one is, he purposely keeps some (very obvious) distance when sitting with me. This is unbearable!!!!!!! Okay okay I know you're taken, but can you pls show your demeanor as a guy even though I'm not like I love sitting very close with you. *eyes can't stop rolling* So it has become a contradiction. But since I cannot stand him, I'll have to revenge, so I move my chair and my stuffs on table further away from him and deliberately make the sound. (omg so childish right, I realized that too haiz)

Okei there were more but I don't wanna write anymore.*exhale breath* It's so raging that I feel like I killed many of my brain cells to recall all his horrible behaviors. (hmm strictly speaking, not really, but meh~)

Lol I seem to be so wicked and malicious, the evil tongue is real. *triggered* (the dark side of my character has arosed HAHAHA) But since nobody reads my blogposts, so I guess it's just nice to do it once in a while (so guilty eh hehehe).

Disclaimer: I wrote about him quite exaggeratedly. So....don't take this too serious, just writing it just for fun. But for sure majority of them is real eh uhuh. : P